Hi everyone. It’s been a good day. An emotional day. For some reason, I can’t stop crying. And it’s not that I’m scared. I know I’m going to conquer this. It’s that there are so many people and animals that I love and care about and that I want to be with every single day. And so being in this room for the next however many days — 28 days — and then being further away from our home, it’s just really hard and it is scary, you know?
I’ve got two bags of different chemos going into me right now. It’s new. I’ve never done this before, so yeah, it’s a little scary. It’s a lot of unknowns, but I stick by how I said that I am going to control my mindset and believe that there’s another way of getting through this and believe that there is a way that I can get through this conditioning chemo in a way, knowing that this is what is going to make the perfect space for these new STEM cells to live in my body. This is what is necessary in order to have a successful transplant.
When I look at it that way, my goal is just to live in a beautiful state in as many moments as possible.
That’s my goal.
That’s my intention.
I will do everything in my power to get through this with as little discomfort as possible and stay tuned. I pray that I’ll be able to continue on this path because I do think that mindset and love, and it’s like I’ve always said to all of you, love heals, love heals, and part of that is loving yourself.
And one thing that I’ve come up with on this journey is what would you do for yourself if you were faced with life or death? How deep would you dig for yourself? How much would you go to bat for yourself? And I’m realizing just how much I love myself because I will do everything in my power to conquer this cancer. And I know that I will.
So thank you everyone. I hope to post as much as I can. We’ll see how things go. But you are with me in my thoughts.  My friends, my athletes, my family, my animals. Everything that makes me happy. I’m going to do a lot of reading, a lot of meditating, a lot of priming, a lot of praying, and a lot of journaling. And, that’s gonna be my time here and a lot of love. My amazing family, my wife and my mom. My mom slept here last night. My wife is sleeping here with me tonight and it makes all the difference in the world. I love you all so much. Thank you. I love you. These are happy tears that I have. All of you. I’m so grateful. I love you.
For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/