Today, I woke up thinking about this and I’m just going to use a couple of examples. My mom is absolutely incredible. She’s 76 years old and she runs a dog grooming parlor in Boulder. And it is the best dog grooming parlor I’ve ever seen in the world. She loves on the dog. She does such a beautiful job. Her groomers do such a beautiful job. The dogs are happy to come and sad to leave and it’s absolutely amazing.
So, because it’s so amazing, she gets amazing reviews all the time. But every once in a while, she’ll get a bad review or somebody will complain about something. My mom will then get absolutely so upset about this one negative comment. And she’ll forget about the thousands of other amazing comments. All she’ll do is dwell on that one negative comment and make that her reality.
Now, we all do this at some point in time. Think of it… you athletes out there. You’re training amazingly well. You’re doing a great job in all your sessions. But one day, you have a horrible session and you get so depressed about that session and suddenly you’re telling yourself “I’m not fit. I’m doing something wrong. I’m never going to make it.” And you dwell on that one session that wasn’t your best.
Why do we do this? Why do we torture ourselves in this way?
I know yesterday the reason why I’m thinking about this at all is that yesterday was a big day for me. I had my third bone marrow biopsy. I’m praying for good news. Probably, won’t know for a few days, but, all through the day, I’m being positive and I’m thinking about getting in remission so I can move forward into the next step. And I’m thinking about that I feel good and I feel strong and I’ve got energy and these things. And then in one moment, I had this horrible vision of things not working out. I started crying. And I started getting so afraid. And I started getting so scared. And I was dwelling on this one thought. And it was on my mind 24/7. My entire day is spent trying to keep my mind in a place that is going to help me heal. Help me release the things that I no longer need or that are getting in the way of my healing. And take on the thoughts and the focus and meanings that are going to help me heal and help me be my best self.
So, why do we do that? Why do these negative thoughts or negative emotions, or negative beliefs take over?
Well, they only do because we allow them to. This is all a mental practice. It’s like building a muscle and I’ve talked about this before. When you have a negative thought or a bad thought, the muscle we need to build is replacing that thought, most likely, with the truth. Like with my mom, for example. She is loved and that shop is loved by everyone. And if there were a thousand people that had an incredible experience and one that didn’t, she can pretty much — she has the proof that she’s doing an amazing job. And not one negative comment can motivate her to be even better if we want to use it in a positive way.
For the athlete, you’ve got all the proof. You’ve had great sessions every day. You’re improving every day. One bad session; that’s normal. It happens. You have to have those days so that you appreciate the great days. They’re necessary. You’ve got to have the highs and the lows. It’s all a part of being able to really appreciate and embrace life for what it is, which is such a beautiful gift.
And, for me, I need to practice forgiveness, which I talked about the other day for my mind bringing in a thought that’s not serving me. A thought that caused me pain, and recognize that, and appreciate, and let it go, and understand the truth. And the truth is that I know with all my heart that I’m going to make it through this victorious. I know with all my heart, that if I take care of my thought processes, what I focus on, taking care of myself, doing everything I can, to help myself heal. That I will be healed.
So, what we have to do is build the muscle of learning how not to dwell on those negative thoughts, that we know, only bring us down. That are untrue. These beliefs that don’t serve us. Release those. Be kind to yourself and accept the fact that it’s quite human to have these thoughts. But let it go and remind yourself of the truth. Remind yourself of who you are. Remind yourself of what you’ve been doing every single day. Remind yourself of how special you are and that you are capable of creating and doing anything you dream of if you set your mind to that. And release the thoughts that don’t serve you. You can appreciate them. You can acknowledge them, but let them go and release them. And hold on to that, which brings out the best in you every single day.
For athletes, you have two things you can control; that’s your effort and your attitude. Those are two things we can control; our effort, that we give certain things and our attitude. Not only about the job itself or the task itself, but the job we’re doing and what our intention is. And what we believe in, and how much heart and soul we give to that.
So, to all of you, I hope this helps. I feel like it’s a little bit all over the place, but it’s so very important, that — to go back to another Bed Head Chronicle from a week ago, I think. Perfection is impossible. You can’t have an amazing training session every single day. You can’t make everyone around you happy. Perfection is impossible. So, don’t strive for perfection. Strive to be the best that you can, and doing the best that you can with what you have in every moment. Just do the best you can with what you have whatever that is and acknowledge that you’re going to have weak moments, but don’t stay there. Don’t live there. Change the channel. Go to a better channel that serves you and brings out the best in you.
Have an amazing day everyone. Thank you.
For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/