Good morning, everyone and welcome to the Bed Head Chronicles.
Today, I want to talk about certain words that we all use a lot to describe tougher moments in our lives. And sometimes when we overuse these words, we start attributing them to tough days that aren’t the end of the world. But because we use that word to describe it a word like “devastated.” “I’m just devastated that my package didn’t arrive today,” or “I’m devastated that that meeting didn’t go the way I wanted it to.
Now, the problem with using such strong words like “devastated,” is that it’s such a powerful word that brings up these feelings of just complete disaster, and sadness, and pain. And what happens is that in using that word, it’s actually bringing even more pain, even more intensity or sadness to something that really isn’t the end of the world.
So, what words are you using in your life?
Whether it be, “It was a tragic day.” or “Oh, it was just a horrible day.” And think about how much worse it actually makes your experience of the day just by using that word.
I know, with me, I hear a lot from people in my life where they’ll write me and say, “Oh, I’m just devastated,” and I think “My God, what happened?” Did somebody die? Did you get into an accident? What happened? And, it’s never anything of the sort.
To me, it brings up these horrible emotions that bring me pain and angst. But also for them, it’s as if they are taking what should be a 5 (on a scale of 1 to 10) in pain or upset and making it a 10 just by the word that they’re using to describe it.
Think about the words you use in your life and let’s think about using them less or using them only for things that truly are 10 out of 10 pain for you, or disappointment, or angst, or sadness.
Because if we can use gentler words, or words that are more descriptive of truly what happened. Like, “Oh, I had an upsetting meeting today,” or “A bit disappointed that my package didn’t arrive today.” It takes the sting out of it. It makes it less painful. And, in the world today, we are going to have moments that are really painful and really hard. But if we’re using those big, huge words for small events that really should not be giving us that much pain, it’s kind of forcing us to lower our threshold of what level things need to be too upset us, if that makes sense.
So, focus on the words that you use. Try not to use those huge, exaggerated words for things that really aren’t deserving of that kind of a description.  You’ll notice that your pain becomes less. Your frustration becomes less.
I truly believe that our experience of life is up to us. It really is in every way. Yes, bad things are going to happen to us or people are going to be mean to us or will be disappointed. But we are in control of how we react. We are in control of how we respond. How we do that is we decide what to focus on.
Are we going to focus on the hurt, the pain, the disappointment? Or are we going to focus on “Okay, what can I learn from this?” “What good is going to come out of this?” Or “What am I learning from this? Are we focusing on all the things that went wrong? All the problems?
Or are we focusing on everything that’s right in our lives? And all the solutions and the fact that we truly can control our experience of life by what we focus on, the meaning we give things, and what we choose to do about it?
You can wake up feeling sad. You can choose to lie in bed and feel sad all day. Or you can choose to take a moment; take a deep breath, put your hand on your heart, and think about all the wonderful things in your life. And the first one being “I woke up this morning and I have this beautiful beating heart in my chest. I have a roof over my head right now, and I have a place to go. I have things to do. I have people that care.”
Then get out of bed and create your experience of life. All of this — being able to be in charge of our own experience of life — it’s empowering. When we decide to let circumstances or other people determine our moods, our feelings, and interactions, we become helpless. That helplessness makes us feel horrible.
Choose to empower yourself. Choose to focus on things that serve you: what you have, what you love, what you want to create, and what you have all the control over — which is your experience of life: how you react, how you respond, how you decide to take on your day with positivity, with optimism, with hope, with love, with kindness, and with strength.
Everyone have an amazing day. I love you all.
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