Good morning everyone, and welcome to the bed head chronicles. Yesterday I spoke about perspective. Today, I want to elaborate on that as I was thinking about yesterday’s session with my athletes and they were absolutely crushing it. Basically, I was giving them goals that were way beyond what they thought they were capable of. But, for me, my perspective as a coach — I can see their potential. And I can make a really educated guess as to how fast they are able to run given them being willing to suffer. Them being willing to give it everything they have. And them being willing to consider the possibility that they be much more capable than they think they are. And they all, absolutely, crushed it.

Now, it hurt, because they were going harder than they were before, faster than they were before — so it hurt. But, what if, the meaning of that pain was that this going fast, this pain means that I’m crushing it? This pain means that I’m having my best run ever? What if, say, for instance, you’re in a relationship or a marriage, even, and you’re going through some trying times when you’re having some pretty deep conversations. You’re having some arguments. What if this wasn’t the beginning of the end? What if this was your relationship going to all new levels of depth and commitment? What if those arguments, those deep conversations are what is going to deepen the bond between you and your partner, and take your relationship to all new levels of happiness, joy, depth of love, etc.

The meaning we give things can totally, not only effect our experience of life, or our experience of a certain relationship, but it can also affect the decisions that we make in response to that. So, back to the athlete example, say they’re in a race and they’re hurting so badly. Now, if they take the meaning, “I’m hurting. I must be having a horrible day,” they will probably back off and have a horrible day. Exactly what they’re looking for.

But, if they’re hurting and they say “Yes! This is what I need to feel to know that I’m crushing it today. That I’m having my best run, my best race.” That is going to lead them to probably having their best run and their best race.

Now, back to the relationship example, say you’re having some deep, meaningful conversations with your partner, and you’re having some arguments. Well, if you thought, “Oh. It’s the beginning of the end.” Then, you’re probably — the relationship’s just going to get worse and worse. Then you’re going to hit that moment, maybe, where you decide to call it off.

But, if you look at that argument, that deep and meaningful conversation that you’re having with your partner as being
something that is going to lead you to a better understanding of one another. To a deeper relationship, a stronger bond, a deeper love, you will see your relationship blossom into something more that you could ever imagine. The meaning we give things can completely change our experience of life, and most importantly, the decisions that we make that can either empower us or disempower us.

So, pay attention to that. And as you go through your day, think about the things that you say to yourself and the meaning that you’re giving it. Is the meaning serving you or serving your relationship? Or is it hurting you? Choose the empowering meaning. Choose to set yourself up for not only your best day, but your best relationship as well.